tw / death of a parent, suicide, drug use, psychiatric abuse, self harm, brief mention of suicide methods i'm sat in bed, in a position my hip really doesn't like, eating one of the few foods i can for the next few days. it's an aero mousse dessert thing, if you were wondering. yesterday, i got an angry wisdom tooth pulled, and yesterday, i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder on the way to getting said angry wisdom tooth pulled. i knew it was coming - there was no way even the stupidest psychiatrist on their angriest day could see anything else in me. well, except autism, but that's a whole other ballgame. when i went into that long-awaited appointment, in the psych-ward-not-quite (no bedrooms, but certainly a psych ward), i knew what was going to happen when i got out. i would wait a few days, he would consult, he would prescribe. that's exactly what happened, he was right when he said i seemed clued up. bipolar affective disorder type two and lamotrigine tapering ...
twenty two years old and on the internet for over a decade, yet somehow i've never tried my hand at this thing. surprising for someone who likes to talk as much as i do about myself, my life, my interests, my anything at all! i don't know what i'll get up to here, honestly, if anything. journals are just not that fun to me when my brain works faster than my pen. but, in my journal is a lot of vents, some love letters (to people and to things), some essay ramblings... maybe that's what i'll get up to here. having a space where i can just talk for ages about literally anything, outside of uni, without getting out of bed? #NeedThat most of the time at-slash-for uni, i'm writing about something that, sure, i take a general interest in. i study international politics, i'm interested in that! but anyone who has/will have a degree knows that sometimes, you've got to do shit you really don't want to do very much. that's been me this past semester, but i ...